Friday, May 21, 2010

In a holding pattern

Okay, so I can’t quite put my finger on it, but the past few weeks I have begun to feel as though I am in some sort of holding pattern.  It is like I can’t think about, plan or look at anything past July 13th (or whenever our little guy decides to come).  Is this normal? 
It is nearing summer, and I just feel so out of sorts.  No vacation planned.  No long weekends with friends somewhere or trips down to Jordan’s family beach house. 
Going out to eat is not the same.  Getting dressed is certainly not the same.  Sound sleeping is now a distant memory.  Concentrating at work and planning/working deals more than 6 weeks out is impossible.
It is as though my whole life is gradually changing, preparing me for baby, right before my very eyes, but without the sweet, tiny, snuggly reward just yet.
Don’t get me wrong here, I am absolutely thrilled for him to get here and wouldn’t trade a minute of this pregnancy for “the good old days”, but at the same time, he is not here yet, and I have yet come to know and feel that indescribable joy that everyone tells me having a baby brings.
I know his arrival will wash away all of what my old “normal” was. But until then, I feel like I am just up in the air, circling the airport, waiting for a runway to open…in a holding pattern.
Anyone know the feeling?

5 comments:

Kacey said...

I totally remember feeling the exact same thing! The lists were made for literally everything, nursery was ready, bag packed. Like lets just get the show on the road. Someone told me to fill those long drawn out days enjoying doing things you won't be able to do soon. Dinners out, movies, sleep, and sleep:)

Adam and Julia said...

July 13 is the day the doctor set today for our egg retrieval!!! How awesome!!!! Somewhere the start are in line!

The Saras Family said...

totally know the feeling. the second you get those 2 little pink lines life CHANGES big time and you are right you don't rally 'get it' until the baby is here...but trust me, it's worth it! just think, next time you go to the beach house will be your sweet babys first time to feel sand between his little toes. :o)

Ashley Franks said...

I exactly know how you feel. I remember that completely. All I can say is definitely try to go out to eat, movies, and sleep just as Kacey said. All things that you will not be doing as much with a new baby. It's so hard, but try to enjoy the peace and quiet. Your lives will never be the same once he gets here! It's the best change ever, though!

Elizabeth said...

you described it PERFECTLY!!! I felt like time stood still...and am feeling that way again THIS summer...